A Change of Seasons - Sept 14, 2014

Two weeks and two days after my last chemo (last!) and I can feel a change in the air. I am sitting at Battlepoint park, playing with Butch. As I toss his ball, I look around the park and see hints of fall everywhere. There are geese on the pond, ready to begin heading south. The wind rustling through the drying leaves sounds like a whisper saying "change". The summer colors have softened to browns and golds, with a few scattered patches of red and orange. The smells have become dusty and old. Everywhere I look, fall is in the air.

Last time I posted, I spoke of summer lost. Today the fall breeze reminds me that every ending also brings something new. Fall is not generally a symbol of new beginnings, that is usually Spring's promise. But this year, Fall feels like a season of closure and of promise for me. It's the end of my treatments and surgeries. It marks closure for most of the cancer process. And with that closure, it also feels like the beginning of a new season for me.

Maybe it's the cool air and the end of summer activities in the park, but as I walk with Butch through the quiet of the autumn park, I feel just a little stronger today. I feel like my old self is starting to return. For the first time since chemo 4, I have been able to walk the loop without feeling winded and fatigued. I am beginning to be able to see past the pain and discomfort and really enjoy my walk again. It's allowing me to notice the little things that bring me happiness; the nature around me, kids playing, quiet time with my dog.


The seasons are changing and summer is over. Fall brings me new hope, new energy, and quieter time to recover.  Not to mention, this is the season of Thanksgiving. It's a great time to remember that I have so much to be thankful for today!