Sunny afternoon

Exactly two weeks ago, I had my surgery for breast cancer.  I remember the tears when I said good-bye to my husband and they wheeled me to the surgery room.  I also remember consciously centering myself and relaxing, as they moved me to the table and started the process to remove my cancer and breast. Once they started the anesthesia, of course, I quickly went to sleep and they carefully and thoroughly completed the mastectomy.  I awoke several hours later to my sweet husband's face - and the happy news that the lymph nodes were clear.

Today was a big milestone in my recovery.  I had another follow-up with the reconstruction surgeon. She was very pleased with how I am healing.  The wonderful thing today was the removal of the final drain from my chest!  This means I can shower, sleep without getting tangled in the tubes, and wear normal clothes/undergarments again!  It felt like a huge step towards being healed and reduces an area of discomfort that wasn't really painful, but was a huge hassle to deal with everyday.

Now I can work on building back my strength, improving my range of motion, and returning to activities and work.  I still have a fair amount of pain, especially muscle spasms in my chest and back.  The reconstruction process will still take a few months, and will include an outpatient surgery to complete the process in about six months.

And we can't forget about chemotherapy. I still don't have the details for that phase of treatment, as the oncologist is having an additional test done on the cancer tissue.  I don't meet with her again until June 5.  While it is hard to wait a couple more weeks, I am actually very happy to enjoy this break in treatment and focus on healing!  I will still have at least two doctor's appointments each week - reconstruction and physical therapy, so my schedule and my life are not exactly back to normal.

What is normal now anyway?  The ongoing pain and my missing breast are a constant reminder of the many changes cancer has brought to my life.  So are the many cards, letters, facebook posts, blog comments, food preparations, and so many other special ways that people have been sharing their love and support for my family and me in this cancer journey.  We feel the love from near and far.  We hope you feel it back from us, as well. 

As I sit in the afternoon sun, looking out at the flowers, birds, grass and trees at my house, I feel grateful for all that is good in my life.  I am so fortunate to have so many people cheering for me.  I am so lucky we caught the cancer early. I am so thankful that I work at the Foundation, where I have good insurance and so much support for taking the time I need for all the cancer treatments.  Yes, cancer really sucks!  I would not wish this on anyone. But, as I think of all the progress I have made these past two weeks, I really just feel happy and thankful!